Russell A. Cardwell Online

After complaining on Monday about God’s reticence, I awoke to find this scripture from the Upper Room in my email:

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

–Psalm 130:5-6

And the devotional for the day was about waiting patiently for God to speak.

At work, during my break, when I opened my Bible-in-a-Year, the day’s reading gave me this:

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

–1 Kings 19:11-13

Not exactly subtle, is He?

Maybe I think I have to be waylaid by God for it to count. For Paul, only a severe mauling would have gotten his attention. Perhaps I should have more respect for the small promptings of the Spirit, and the little “God-moments” that almost unnoticeably change my course.

• Lord, Where Is Your Smile?
• Let God Sort ‘Em Out
• The Lord is My Global Positioning System
• If You Can’t Worship While You’re Doing It . . .
• Delight Yourself

A friend asked for prayer for finding God in the workplace. It is easy to see God working in the day to day events. All of us, if we are attuned to God, can’t help notice the God-moments that bubble up throughout the day. But that’s not what she was talking about. She was talking about discernment of God’s long-term plan for her life.

Meaning and purpose—finding your life’s mission—this is no easy task. Those are the exact issues I’ve been struggling to resolve for the past year or so. I don’t have answers yet, nor have I discovered a way to find the answers.

While we’re growing up, our parents tell us exactly what they expect of us. In school, teachers give us detailed assignments and deadlines, and grade our performance. On the job, employers tell us specifically what work they have planned for us and hold us accountable for doing it well and finishing it on time.

But what does God want from us? What are his plans for us? What tasks has he set us? What mission does he want us to fulfill? If you figure out how to get him to answer those questions, let me know.

• No related posts

Someone yesterday pointed out that it looked like I had been under a Satanic attack. I’m usually skeptical when people start talking about “Satanic attacks”—I think they often try to turn a bit of bad luck, a coincidence, or the consequence of a mistake they made into a “Satanic attack.” But the more I have thought about it, the more true it sounds. In March, I came back from the worship seminar with a clear vision for my future. And almost immediately I came under attack in every area of my life. I have sustained several attacks at work. My home business has been under attack. My finances were attacked—especially in April when the IRS wiped out my savings. And the work I do for Christ has been the particular target of sustained attack. (Even going to absurd extremes, like Emmaus losing my team service applications.)

All of this is going on at the time I have been wrestling with large questions of my purpose in life, and what I should do with the years ahead. And because all these attacks have strained many of my personal and family relationships, i’ve had to wrestle with these issues entirely on my own. Only prayer and perseverance have gotten me through the past few months. But the real breakthroughs began to occur about 6 or 7 weeks ago, when I turned to the scriptures, not just to study and learn, but to look for specific instructions that I could apply to my life today. Gradually I began finding some practical answers, especially in the words of Jesus and the letters of Paul. And as I tried acting out some of these instructions, the attacks began to dissipate.

A part of me wishes I had had some wise counselor in my life that could have simply told me where to look and what to do. They could have saved me a great deal of pain and struggle. But apparently God doesn’t want me reliant on any worldly advisers. And the result has been that I cannot remember a time in my life when I have been more utterly dependent on God, when I have thrown myself more completely on His mercy, when I have been more willing to engage fully with Him on matters of the heart, and to act in unquestioning obedience to His commands. As a result, things are happening in my life that I could not have planned or expected. Transformations in my thinking and character are taking place that no adviser, self-help book, or group could ever have brought about.

There’s a passage in 1 Corinthians 3:6-8 where Paul talks about how some till, some plant, some water, some harvest, etc.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.

The same is true in our lives. There are times when we are just tilling the soil, other times we are planting the seeds, or watering our garden. I talked in reading group about not feeling God’s presence. It’s easy to feel His presence when you’re enjoying the harvest, not so easy when your tilling the soil. But though I may not have “felt” HIm in a long time, I can see His fingerprint everywhere I look.

Now as the attacks subside, I can get back to the real work—the decisions I need to make about what to do with the rest of my life, the re-examination of my values and mission in life, and the discovery of God’s purpose for it. This is where it all began back in the beginning of March. Looking back at all the problems of the last few months, I can see them as diversions—temporary matters requiring my full attention but causing no permanent harm. Satan has been keeping me busy scurrying about, putting out fires. Sounds to me like God has a plan that Satan doesn’t want me to find out about. Well, “Sorry, Satan. You lose this round.”

• Satan’s Garage Sale
• What Ships are Built For

As I was at Hallmark looking at the Father’s Day cards I got to thinking: What about our heavenly Father? What kind of gift can I offer Him? I mean—talk about somebody who literally has everything! What could He possibly need from me?

The answer, of course, is that God doesn’t need anything from any of us. But we need to give. What are you going to give your Father in Heaven this Father’s Day?

• November 14, 2005
• November 20, 2005
• Only Amid the Storms
• Obedience and Favor
• If You Can’t Worship While You’re Doing It . . .

Again and again, Balaam raced ahead of God’s plan. Each time God sent an angel to guard the path, and each time Balaam’s donkey saw the angel and stopped Balaam from going ahead. Each time Balaam beat her with a stick until at last she spoke.

Then the LORD opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

The angel of the LORD asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her.”

Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.”
-Num 22:31-34

When I was about 7 or 8, we went to an amusement park—Six Flags or something. I was walking along behind my parents looking up at all the sights, when at some point I noticed that the people I was following did not look exactly right. I caught up with them and found that they were not my parents at all, they were just similarly dressed. Even at that age I had a cool head in a crisis. We had passed several forks in the path, and I did not know where we had gotten separated. If I went forward, I might be going the wrong way. If I stayed where I was, they may not turn down this road looking for me. I decided that once they found I was missing, they would turn back looking for me. And the quickest way for me to be found was to go back to where I saw them last.

In the Jack Hayford book, Explaining Worship, he talks about the components of prayer, the first of which is confession. He says that even if gross sin is not a part of our lives, we still need refinement and cleansing, if for no other reason than that we have been exposed to the dirty conditions that characterize the world. Even when we do well, we still cannot measure up to God’s standards. He says, rather than condemn ourselves we need to go before God and say, “Lord, I’m growing in Your ways, but I’m not there yet. Forgive my shortcomings and continue to shape me into Your image.”

Even if we do take the wrong path, we need to come back quickly to God‘s path. Sometimes we may not know where we went wrong. Instead of worry and struggle, trying to figure out exactly where we went wrong, and come up with a way to fix things ourselves, we should do as I did as a lost child. We should ask ourselves, where was I last close to God? I know I was on the right path then. Return to that point, and start from there. God is probably already waiting there for you.

If we keep pushing ahead, we may wind up like Balaam, being taught a lesson in humility and obedience by an ass.

• A Path Where No Man Thought
• The Hiker and the Fog
• 12 Best Jazz CD’s
• Blessed?
• Trust and Obey

Imagine that you go to your friend’s door, long after midnight. The lights are out, the door is locked, your friend says, “Do you have any idea what time it is? We’re trying to sleep in here. Come back tomorrow.” And you say, “I need your help. Company has come from out of town. They’re hungry, the stores are closed, I don’t have enough to feed them all. If you have any extra food in the house let me have it for tonight.”

What is your friend going to do? He’s going to give you what you need. He may be grumpy about it, but he’s going to give you whatever help he can. Why? Because he’s your friend. And he’s going to appreciate your boldness. Your boldness in waking him in the middle of the night will convince him more than any words you could say of the urgency of your need. Not only that, he’s going to feel honored. You have honored him, you have shown him how much you believe in him and what kind of character you believe he has. Who does not feel honored when your friend asks something of you like that? What does it tell you about the way they feel about your character? They’ve shown you that they believe you are a person of value. And if you value their friendship you’re going to do what’s needed.

So this is the way it is with God. Do we value our relationship with God? And do we show God how much we value Him? How often do we refrain from asking God for the things we need , for the things we want, expecting that God knows what we want, God knows what’s going to be needed? How often do we simply turn it over to Him and say, “Thy will not mine be done,” and hope for the best? Is not a sort of pride involve in this?

What Jesus is telling us here is that God appreciates boldness. If we boldly step up to the throne and say “God, this is what I need. I have these needs. You are my God. Take care of me. Help me.” It’s not that God

How does this work? I don’t really understand how this works? What happens if we don’t ask God for what we need? Is God going to not provide for us? This is something I don’t wuite understand.

Here is one possible answer. God has created us. God does care for us. We are His children. But He has created us as free agents. He has turned us loose in the world to do as we see fit. just as when your children grow up, you will turn them loose into the world to do as they see fit, to live or die by their own decisions.

But when they leave home, that doesn’t mean that you’re no longer available to them for help if they need it. If one of them needs help, you say “If you do need help, just call, and I’ll be there.” But you’re not going to be meddling into their affairs all the time. Or I certainly hope not. That would not be welcome. Or good parenting.

Anyway, that’s the way with God. He has turned us loose, sent us off into the world and said, “Here. I’ve given you stewardship over your life. I’ve given you stewardship over the earth, and it’s up to you to do what you should do or not. If you get into trouble, call me and I will help. Ask and you’ll receive.”

But He’s not going to be poking around in our business all the time. Even if He does care for us. He will honor His agreement. This is a contractual agreement He has made with us. I will be your God. Skip all this stuff and I’ll get back to that part.

I think that what this is saying is that unless you call upon Him, He is not going to intervene. And He is not going to intervene because you are not calling upon Him for assistance. That is an indication to Him that you have decided to take care of this problem on your own. And you have rejected God’s assistance in this matter.

So what do I need to do about this? I guess I need to ask for God’s help in the things that matter and not keep doing things on my own. Maybe that’s a question for further thought: “Are there any things in your life that you have chosen to handle on your own and not ask God for help?”

• Obedience and Favor